We are the average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time – Jim Rohn

While I spent virtually no time one-on-one with either of these men, they became two of the five people that shaped my practice and my life.

3 min read

Matthew Jarvis
Financial Planner, CFP®

This sentiment, made famous (at least for me) by Tim Ferriss, is one of many important lessons for success in life. While I’m not sure there is any science behind the number 5, whatever the exact number, the point is still the same: you become like the people with whom you spend the most time.

So with whom are you spending your time? Is it with people who are making excuses? People complaining that they are Fiduciary and therefore entitled to all the clients? People, who feel that those more successful somehow cheated? Or simply people who leave your energy drained?

Alternatively, who in your world is crushing it? Who is always looking to improve? Who is full of energy? Most importantly, how do you spend more time with this person WITHOUT becoming a drain for them?

More than at any time in history, you can now spend almost unlimited time with any panel of experts and mentors you admire. Maybe not in person, but certainly via their podcasts, books, classes, coaching programs, conferences, or other media formats.

We are the average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time

For example, I’ve only met Nick Murray in person 3-times (plus an email where he told me to never come to his conference again until I had a real business plan). Yet, despite having only spent a few hours in the same room (along with 100 other people), I’ve spent hundreds of hours learning from Nick. I’ve read all of his books (now kept under lock and key due to their value), studied all of his newsletters, and I look forward to reading his newest thoughts each month. In addition, he once published an audiobook on CD, and I listened to it daily for months.

WHY? Am I just a fanboy? Maybe, but Nick had what I wanted: a wildly successful practice with the confidence to know how to advise clients on their investments, regardless of the ‘apocalypse du jour”.

The same was true of Tom Gau. When I read about him in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, I knew that Tom had the practice I wanted, so I maxed out my last remaining credit card balance to attend his coaching program: Million Dollar Producer. As with Nick, my time with Tom was in a room with 100 other advisors, but I ate up and implemented every word that he said.

In other words, while I spent virtually no time one-on-one with either of these men, they became two of my ‘5’ people that shaped my practice and my life. While I was the one that did the grind for years and years, having this influence was critical to my success.

HOW ABOUT YOU: Who are your dream 5-people?

But reading is nothing without taking action!
Here is what you should do in order to see results

Action item #01

Replace one of your existing 5 with a rock star that lifts you up. Make sure it’s in a way that doesn’t drain this person, as I don’t want to read about you getting a restraining order. 🙂

Action item #02

Register for our XYPN Pre-con In-Person Session this fall, October 8th, 2022.


Learn more HERE

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