Read the Transcript Below:

Amber Kuhn  

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Matthew Jarvis  

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of The Perfect RIA podcast. I’m your co host, Matthew Jarvis, with me today. Special guest, Dr Andy Garrett, who is wise, Andy, I almost want to let you describe. I don’t want to, like, give your credentials wrong, but you’re like, you’re actually like, a professional head doctor, right? That’s probably not a term you would use. But I do have to mention Andy and I were introduced by a mutual friend, Aaron Walker, who’s been on this podcast several times. And we both before he record, like, oh, big A. Like, he is the guy, but it’s reminded to me of, if you deliver massive value, like the whole world aligns around you, like, that’s your big A’s thing. Like, everybody goes those movers, massive value. So when he says, like, Jarvis, you got to have Dr Andy on your podcast, there was not even a second question. And it was same for you. You’re like, big A says it, we’re doing it. So I love that. So anyway, tell us about you, dude, yeah.

Dr Andy  

First off, just love the comment on Big A. I love what you said too, when you were first introduced to Big A, the fact that you went by Big A, you’re like, serious. But I highly encourage people to go check out those episodes again, because I know they’re both so, yeah, I’m a licensed clinical psychologist. Started off getting into private practice, working mostly while primary clientele ended up being really successful individuals, executive business owners who had all the external markers of success, you know, had the beautiful homes, had ratifications beyond things like that. Internally, they were bankrupt. There was a sense of it just being really unfulfilling. They’d attach their identity, to their work, to their income, to power, not necessarily even knowing or intentionally needing to do that. But that’s never going to lead to fulfillment. It creates a really futile cycle of just chasing more and more and never totally fulfilled. So I’ve helped these individuals for years to re establish their identity and to find it, onto their core values, to find it you know, they’re authentic. That leads to holistic success. So all of a sudden, now they were actually performing better at work, right? They had a greater sense of security, trusting themselves to make the right decision, getting into flow state, but being able to see that translate very kind of seamlessly. Then at home, seeing instead of the compartmentalization where they were crushing it at work, but often leaving trails of damage in their personal relationships, now all of a sudden, they’re succeeding in all areas and experiencing tremendous fulfillment. So just to bring it all home, I worked with Big A, you know, several years ago, and he was asking me, any other practice, how do you want to scale your impact, or what’s, how do you want to do it? So I realized I didn’t want to grow a massive practice where I had a bunch of coaches and therapists working under me, so I built a course that just put me structured, you know. Realized that I really, you know, see myself as a psychological engineer, engineering, how to solve big, psychological, complex problems. And the biggest one I can think of to solve is identity, right? As answering that question, I know Simon Sinek has that great book. Start with, why, Simon? I think you’re great, but you got to start with who’s got to be the starting place. And when you figure that out, everything else comes so much more organically and anchoring it to a clear understanding of who you are. So we built a course, launched it in beta form on March 15 of 2020.

Matthew Jarvis  

Okay, yeah, that time, yeah, the market fell by 30% for some reason.

Dr Andy  

I remember. So we had like 25 people in that beta group, though, had committed to go through it. A few people understand it was seven. Seven people understandably said, Hey, we’re kind of spooked out by everything. So they backed out. But 18 people went through it. 14 of them completed the program. Those 14 individuals all thrived in the midst of one of the most uncertain times in human history. And it was because they were operating on this, this bedrock of, you know, solid clarity of who they were, convictions of what mattered to them. You know, many of them had to pivot completely in their businesses. Their traditional way of doing work wasn’t available. And when your identity is really rigidly attached to it, but this is who I am, it becomes very difficult to pivot. And often you double and triple down on, you know, kind of doing the same thing, but they were able to vary in a resilient and agile manner, to find creative ways to deliver their services and recorded record profits in that time. So since then, it’s really good about, how do we scale this? And we’ve been able to have several 100, I think it’s about 800 people now go through some version of these courses and pairing it with this resilient strategy. That is the greatest optimization work that I’ve ever done in my 15 plus years of private practice.

Matthew Jarvis  

It’s quite a mouthful. Yeah, no, no, that’s that’s pretty awesome. So I want to pull a thread in two directions. So I want to pull on this thread of people who get to the top of the mountain, whatever that means, like they had some income level. And a lot of people, I know the industry right, and the industry, right? And the dollar amount really relevant, but they got to whatever dollar amount they thought was the top of the mountain, and then they got to the top of mountain and looked around and like this, there’s there’s nothing here. And it’s like a double you know this better than I do, but it’s like a double punch, because not only is there nothing there, but you were convinced that when you got there, everything would be there. So I would have had that direction, but I went, I put a little seed in. Let’s talk to also about the people that are the bottom of the mountain, the resiliency that it takes, because it’s a tough climb, like, you get to the top and you’re like, Man, she’s like, grinding on things for however many years and hours and soul crushing thing. And I hear there’s nothing. Still, are people in the grind as well. So let’s pick either side of that. Dr Andy, and let’s, let’s pull on this a little bit. I’ll start with the top of the mountain first. Yeah, yeah. And I agree, you know, one of the aspects or components of what we go through in developing those called True North. All right, I love the term true north. Is a quick comment, yeah, as opposed to magnetic north.

Dr Andy  

I don’t know if you know, there’s a slight difference, like magnetic north, a fixed geographical location remains constant, stable and secure electro or magnetic north, also reliable if you’re if you’re hiking or something, but it’s constantly shifting because it’s reacting. Yeah, yeah. That’s why I believe most people live their life, is that they’re constantly reacting and shifting based off the environment they’re in. That’s tiring, that leads to burnout, right? That means that maybe your values, or some of those things slightly shift, and that undermines trust, undermines resilience. I’m not saying you have to have complete certainty in everything, right? That’s that’s not possible, but at least you should have a handful of things to say. These are made constant and stable for me. These are things that I can rely on, that I can make great decisions, because the other foundation of you know what’s most important to me. And when you’re standing in uncertainty, right? We’re very uncertain five so a lot of chaos, you know, various things that are going on in the world. Ability to know how to define your purpose, right? To have those core values that generally remain pretty stable over a period of time is one of the best antidotes. 

Matthew Jarvis  

That’s so that true north. And I know we’re just doing this, just doing this, just narrow snippet of it. You obviously got an entire program. This is, this is your life’s work here. How do you help people not let their I want to use mood, for lack of a better term, and maybe I’m the only one that takes us. But like, so we’ve established this true north, and then we have a bad day or a bad week or a bad month or or whatever. Like, you know what it really that’s not really my true north. You know? What I should do is I should earn my practice the ground. Maybe I should divorce my wife. Like, maybe I should take up cocaine, like, whatever, like, driven like, our minds go, like, to these extremes. So how do you help people stay anchored on this true north when it doesn’t feel like true north at times? Yeah, that’s really the the resilience piece. After we did the true divorce, we saw people were really dialed in, right? They were having breakthroughs in their marriages and their work and their kids do all kinds of things that doesn’t stop life from happening, right? 

Dr Andy  

And there is no pathway to great success. We’re going to involve significant obstacles, hurdles, failure, setbacks, pain. So once you accept that, you know really it’s what are you going to do about it? I agree that emotional reaction is what often gets us in our biggest trouble. One of the greatest personal development quotes comes from Victor Frankel, and his answer to me to what happens to us in our response, there’s a space, and in that space is where our capacity for growth and freedom exists. Most of the times we give that space away, right? We get upset or feeling shame or experiencing posture syndrome, and we react out of that, and then we rigidly decide to double and triple up on that rigid response. And that can get us it’s got me in plenty of trouble over the years. But if you have some resilient strategies in place and have the ability to recognize, oh, I’m feeling really angry or disappointed, or whatever it is right that emotion and everybody specific emotions that usually you know, are triggers for really bad decision making. So once you’re able to recognize that, we give the tools on how to neutralize the emotion, how to really be able to step into that so even give your slower acting brain, your prefrontal cortex, time to kick in, and that’s where you can access your problem solving, your values. We can really strategically, creatively, find ways to pivot out of the pain or the shame or whatever is you’re feeling into a growth response. And now all of a sudden, you turn, you know, a negative, into an opportunity for radical growth and purpose. 

Matthew Jarvis  

But it’s so interesting, so many things come to mind on that. But is it different? Halfway up the proverbial not like, like, using the same knowledge, it almost seems like it’s the same other than the emotions might be a little bit different, like rejection and failure and imposter, cetera, but it’s kind of, I suppose. Is it very similar? It seems like it’s the same thing, just just different, different manifestations.

Dr Andy  

That’s certainly been my experience. You’re working with. As you said, all you know, I think the emotions, the struggles, are the same. Some of the most successful individuals that we’ve seen, you know, they really just said they figured out on some level. They call it their true north. This is who I am, and these are the goals I have, and they’re pursuing that, if you accept again, that you’re going to experience pain and setbacks on that. You know, it’s just, how can I be consistent with staying true to my true north? How can I quickly be able to rebound 50 moments back to true north and and really, like, I know that doesn’t sound very sexy, but rinse and repeat, right? And that consistency can lead to all kinds of really exciting breakthroughs.

Matthew Jarvis  

And filament success is something that comes to mind as I sort of reflect on my my personal journeys up down the mountain was, and I ever called it true north. But now that I think back on it, it’s really similar for me. A lot of times it was having someone that, at least in some area of my life, was, was the true north right early on, it was a fellow named Tom gow, phenomenal financial planner. And I just on bad days, I would just like, all right, what would Tom do right here? All right, well, Tom would do X, I’m gonna do that. I mean, you and I both started this episode singing praises to big A Yes, I know for me, he fills that role. Listen big as my true door. So when I have that emotional response like you said, I’m like, Yeah, let’s burn this thing down, or that’s whatever I call him up, like, dude, what? What do I do here? Now, I guess this doesn’t mean to hear anybody else is is imperfect. We have to be careful there, like he’s gonna throw the mistakes, he’s gonna do things. But I’ve got to have, I guess, to your point now that I think about always, it was the true north that pulled me through whatever emotions was going on. I love that you say that. You know, really the foundation of this program, when I built it off, was the example my grandpa set for me. So my grandpa was the successful business. Name’s Carl Karcher. He started Carlos Jr, the fast food restaurant?

Dr Andy  

No way, really, yeah. So very successful, right, with his business, but his greatest success was his relationship. Was who he was as a person. And so, you know, the last 10 years of his life, he now we’re best friends. And I got a chance to spend 1000s of, you know, both the work environment, yeah, public spaces and private and good time with family, and I got a chance to see the example and get an eighth grade education. So when I talk about things like a truly motivation and autonomy, it wasn’t necessarily terms of using but it’s what he modeled. And I saw how consistent he was, whether it was at the height of success or when he nearly lost everything, right? He remained radically consistent. He continued to show up. He talked about his values all the time. And you can see the way that he lived his life. He was, you know, really spent the max amount of time again, not perfect. He had his flaws, of course, but I really reverse engineered. I said, Hey, what was it that he did that made him so successful? You know, part of it was my own struggle, too. I’m trying to, really, you know, figure out who I am, start, stop living always for validation or affirmation. And when I was able to really look at what he did, I said, so I’m packing this and then putting this together in a psychological program. These are the things he modeled and seen. Now, consistent again, we’re not creating a bunch of Carl Carter’s or big as but we’re helping people to find their version of that.

Matthew Jarvis  

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it’s interesting as you talk to that, and I would imagine it’s the same for your grandfather, that some of these are really big, like, deep moral, moral items, but others are really small, right? Like, yeah, when I’m working with listen, you know your fee is now x, like, we’re no longer it doesn’t matter what I when a prospective client comes in is that what I feel the fee is, the fee is x, or in my works, and that’s it. I don’t work till 501. I don’t work on Saturdays. Like, those are just non negotiables, really peeling back layers here. Dr, this is like, this is your job or something. Dude, never struggled. I didn’t, I didn’t ever think like, oh man, am I charging? It’s just like, Oh, my fee is x, and that is the things where I didn’t have one, where it’s like, I don’t know what I’m going to do here. So that’s so interesting, dude. 

Dr Andy  

Yeah. I mean, really, that kind of gets a guiding principles, right. And when we talk about issues like authenticity, autonomy, all these things that we know are great predictors of success, better leadership, really, these things come down to, they’re kind of moral values based concepts. You know, they have a lot to do with our character. So when we get really clear on that, it’s again, it’s amazing. And then we just remain consistent, staying with our guiding principles, it’s amazing how much easier we have to make a lot less decision. Plug the examples that you’re setting there. Some of the work we help people do. However you get started to define those things will make a world of difference?

Matthew Jarvis  

 Yeah, I would love your thoughts. Dr, and I think we have to underestimate how much energy goes to making these decisions again and again and again, versus just that’s just how it is, right, whether it’s with, you know, kids, I know you do things with youth as well. We’ll talk about that in a minute. But I guess the things that I have where I can use are just non negotiables, like, we just don’t ever even discuss this. But because the things I have to think about, well, that really drains, like that takes a lot of emotional energy away. If I’m thinking about right, my 18 year old, like, how are we going to handle a car situation? Well, if I have to think about that every single day, boy, that that’s drains a lot of our relationship. I just like, hey guys, good cars. You drive up. People gas. Easy as that, is that the right answer? I don’t know, but that’s our answer, right? Yes. I don’t have to think about it. Well, I’ve been nuts.

Part of the resilience strategy in here is not to always rely on resilience, right? Like we shouldn’t always have to use willpower or have to make unnecessary decisions. How do we set up systems that’s almost like preventative resilience, right? When you create a clear so we have a decision making tool that just helps. You know, a lot of the people we work with are perfectionistic, so they always want to make the very best decision in the process. Not only do they make very inefficient decisions, but they stress themselves out. They work towards overwhelm and burnout. So you got a criteria with your core values, at least, to run through decisions occasionally I’ll have someone say, Well, what if my decisions rarely involve my core values? Use of my responses. If you’re making a bunch of decisions that have nothing to do with your core values, you’re making a lot of the wrong decisions. You probably need to refocus some of where your attention to focus is going on. But it’s amazing, when you make decisions that consistently align with your core values, you will become a great, powerful decision maker, the conviction that you’re demonstrating to others is going to be felt right? They’re going to get behind you. Your leadership qualities and skills will go up. 

Matthew Jarvis  

It’s really powerful. Boy, I was thinking that same thing as you were saying it. And of course, for financial advisors, right? When you’re advising clients, and a lot of that’s where we’re thinking about the future, what are the markets going to do? What are interest grants going to do? All of which is totally unknowable. But if I go into a client meeting with this huge amount of us, amount of uncertainty, it kills it. But if I just go in and say, like, here’s our approach, this is what we’re doing. I mean, I think about effect to Big A, I want this to be like a parade for him. But the very first phone call I was on with him, my buddy Mike and I, who I host this podcast with, we’re talking to Big A. We’re talking about five minutes. He says, gentlemen, if your wife were to call me right now, would you hang up this call and answer your wife’s call? And we said no, because we’re on this call with you. Man, like, Listen, if my wife called me, I would hang up on you guys and I would answer her call. And we’re like, Come on, give me a break. He’s like, I just let you know my wife is more important to me than you are, and I’m embarrassed for you that you that I’m more important to you than your wife is. And for us, those are, like, fighting or Micah, the conviction. Like we got off the call, we were both like, this, up, man, right? Who is this guy? And then it was like, wow, that level of conviction, like we could argue the right or wrong move, like we could have a whole debate on that totally but the conviction was like, this is never think about it, and this is one of the ways that evidence is That’s why I called it back. I don’t want to call your number. I’ve paid 10s of 1000s of dollars in coaching, and it can all be traced back to get that much conviction. I gotta talk to this kind of more.

Dr Andy  

Yeah, there’s an interesting study that started around the law of attraction, right? A lot of people misapply the law of attraction. Was they’re kind of productive, right? They say things that they want to be true. They don’t believe adult work, or they were able to measure the frequency, the energy wave. There’s tools that can do that. For sure. You can fill some energy right so. And then, because they had access to them, they were able to ask, what was it? What are you feeling? And so they could match the psychological state to the frequency that people gave up. And they found in this study that there was a particular psychological state that is by far the most powerful psychological state that we can exist in, 4000 times stronger than love, which was the second strongest one. And it was the state of authenticity, right when we’re operating, and effectively, the way described it is when we are saying things and demonstrating things no to be true, and it’s fueled by belief and conviction. That’s why, when you say, I’m a millionaire, but you look at your bank account, you’re broke, right? That doesn’t have any power. I had a client who kept saying, I love obstacles. He hates obstacles, switching to I am well equipped and resourced to overcome the obstacles in my life. You can feel the conviction in his voice when he says that he’s crushing all these obstacles now, right? Because he’s saying things that you know to be true. 

Matthew Jarvis  

So one of the most powerful resilience tools that you can have is operating an authenticity and conviction what it’s what we do entire episodes on this I loved your distinction. I want to make sure it’s not missed by our listeners, because, you know, I’m a big fan of of mantras, and I’m a big fan but, but you’re right if you don’t believe it, and the same is true if you’re talking to clients right? Like we talk all the time, like, if you’re recommending to a client something you’re not doing yourself, we have a big problem. So if you’re telling your client, like, yes, hey, listen, if you have kids, you have to own life insurance. I’m just picking a random example, but you yourself, people know that they know what you’re lying. Yeah, it’s amazing, even if it’s just, like an implied lie. Like, I’m just like, Hey, Dr Andy, you really got to have life insurance because your kids, but I don’t have any for my kids. Like, somehow, you know that, right? Like, something’s wrong with this guy, something’s off.

Dr Andy  

Yeah, 100% experience that sometimes we’ve done, you know, price, you know, increases. I don’t believe that I’m worth you know what it is that we’re saying it’s 100% felt by the client, but if I know what the price is I’m saying, I know that what I’m delivering is worth this value and more. It’s amazing. I get almost no pushback. There’s times people can’t afford it, of course, but, but it’s crazy how it’s felt. And yeah, it’s that affirmations and even vision boards. I’m a fan of blue house. Yeah, we take a different take, right? Like, if you, if you do affirmations again, that you don’t believe I am beautiful, but you don’t feel that way, it’ll actually make you feel worse. It will undermine self worth, right? And creating affirmations and vision boards around your core values and around guiding principles, some of those power. It is crazy how powerful that is in guiding you to, you know, greater success, and just just really having a massive impact on on you. 

Matthew Jarvis  

Well, let’s, let’s pull that thread just a little bit more. Because I think I definitely spent a lot of my career where I was doing that incorrectly, when I sort of figured it out, or someone showed me the way, it made a big difference, right? So, like, if I, if my affirmation was, hey, I’m the best financial advisor that’s ever lived, that’s ever lived that’s clearly not true. Like, that’s objectively not true. I know in my heart it’s not true, like, I don’t even know how we would get to that point, right? Yeah, but when I changed that to say, like, I’m getting better and better every day, and then I made sure, I was like, I’m always reading, I’m always like, it’s like, I put that out there, but I also made it true, like, I’m never gonna say anything that I can’t control, right? Somebody say I’m getting better and better every day, okay? I better make sure. I’m time blocked out every morning to read. So I am, in fact, getting better and better, but tell us, give us some more examples of that. Dr Hague, where people write some specifics we can use? 

Yeah, of the love of your example that’s, you nailed it often, putting them in action statements right? I value family, and every day, I strive to make my family, you know, feel important and loving them. You know, seeing things that when you say it, usually you feel it right. It makes you feel stronger. It strengthens your conviction. Good point. And so, you know, just sometimes we have a kind of exercise, a worksheet, that we help guide people through guiding principles, but also in their affirmations. And so, but, but I love guiding principles. I often have people do them in the form of questions. You know, is true with a rotary club.

Matthew Jarvis  

Oh, sure, the four way test, yeah.

Yeah. Like, that’s a great example, right? That you can very quickly recite and will help you to consistently operate at a high level, consistent with the values and principles of Rotary Club. But how do you set that up for your business? But ideally, if you’ve got a bunch of people working for you, you know, and they’re in high stress, high pressure environments, giving them a handful, but it can’t be too many, because then it becomes really impractical and accessible. But if you’ve got just four or five questions they can ask that will enable them to consistently make great decisions operate with, you know, high level of ethical integrity. You’re going to have people performing self actualized state. They’re going to be performing, you know, up near the highest of their potential. 

Matthew Jarvis  

So, yeah, I love that you highlight it as a question, right? Because I think all the time we see like, core values of companies, and they’re so cliched, right? Like integrity and hard work. A buddy of mine, Dustin frost, who’s been on this podcast, his core values for his company are all in the form of questions, like, are we always the solution? Are we the solution to this problem? Are we being easy to work with? That’s one of his core values, again, always as a question. So all of his situations, all of his performances, everything, are questions that he’s asking related to the core value. Was this the customer first? Oh, you’re right. It wasn’t, okay, cool. Like, how do we put the customer first situation. I love that I never thought about, if a sensitive business environment, I didn’t think about it personally. I love that insight there. 

Yeah, the actions really should be turned into something that, again, is easily accessed, and that becomes very practical. You know, I think there’s one of the things we focus on is, how do we get tools that people can, you know, go through and exercise and immediately apply it and get your real time results from it. And in a core values is one of those things that, especially when you take the time, not just to come up with cliche words, yeah, but you can explain this is what it means to me. This is why it’s important, and this is how I apply it, or live it off the daily basis. You can just from an identity standpoint, whether it’s the identity of your corporation or if it’s the identity of you as a leader or an admin. individual, you know, of a really secure mature foundation for what it is that you believe, for what you do. We’ve seen a lot of times when people come to our program. I’m going to figure out my true north. Right. I’m not going to take crap from anybody that’s coming from a place of reactionary placement security. place of insecurity. It’s amazing when people do the work and suddenly feel really secure within themselves and comfortable in their own skin and trust themselves, right? Trusting yourself is the basis for getting into flow state on a consistent basis. But that ability to feel, you know, secure within yourself, it’s, it’s amazing how much more tolerant, loving, accepting, right? When people question, why do you do that, or start to challenge you on things you’re not threatened by it, because you’re really secure what what it is you believe in and why you do what you do. And so from a leadership standpoint, it’s such an important game to go through insecure leaders. And I’m not saying this is someone that’s perfectly secure, right? Most of my bad decisions come out of insecurity, but those of the insecure leaders, managers do so much damage in the workplace. 

Matthew Jarvis  

Yeah, I was actually, as you’re walking through that was thinking through it from the lens of in your home, which we you, and you touched on just a little bit at the beginning of the episode. And we don’t have time to go super deep in it, but I want to think about my own deal with my teenagers, or working with my wife. They go, okay, when I’m acting from the spot of insecurity, which I’ve never used that word touch now, that’s when I sort of like, had this tendency to lash out, like, you know, what? Everyone needs 7000 chores today, right? Or, or no one can ever drive the car. You’re like, whatever it is. But as I think of those, like, when I’m tempted to lash out, he said, do harm, whether that’s, you know, however we describe that, that’s usually where it’s rooted. So, so if you catch yourself, Dr Eddie, in that spot of insecurity, whether that’s in your home life or your professional life. Like, if you happen to know, I guess, how do you notice that? And then when you notice it, like, what do you do in that situation?

Amber Kuhn  

Yeah, I had a situation with my wife driving out to 45 minute car drive, and five minutes into the car drive, my wife said something that hurt my feelings. I felt attacked. I’m a sensitive guy. I can appreciate it on that. And my initial response was, this was, like, just lost, like, this is, of course, what she’s gonna get. I’m now gonna shut down. I’m gonna emotionally punish her. Seems fair, yeah? Fortunately,nI was able to, you know, I was, like, wrestling with myself, and I’ve done this before where I know I’m not making the right decision, and yet I find myself just falling down, yeah, but this time, you know, because I’ve written out my identity statement as a husband, right, as a business owner, like I knew very clearly that this is not in alignment with what you’ve written. This is not alignment with your convictions, not how you want to treat your wife. So I was able to ask some of the guidance sure and realizing if I follow through with this, I kind of played this out quickly in my mind, if I stick with the next 45 minutes is wildly uncomfortable. We’re gonna get to this event. I’m gonna put a fake smile, but I’m gonna go and do my social thing, but inside I’m gonna feel like, Hey, we’re gonna get back in the car, and there’s a good chance it kicks right up, right? I’ve just now created a whole bunch of damage I need to undo, or I can pick right, and I can choose to go down a different path, because this one, I put my hand out for my wife to hold, hold her hand. Yeah, she went to go grab it, and I pulled it out, like that. Psych real quick. Fortunately, she looked at me like, are you serious? It broke the system. We had a short conversation, was all did, had a beautiful drive out there, right? Had a great social event, and ended up being a big deposit into our overall relationship, kind of bank account. And the same thing happens around the hospital time, and we’re forced from a decision, and often, if you can catch yourself when you’re when you recognize some of the emotions that trigger beliefs or the trigger emotions, being able to pause long enough to recognize where there’s opportunity again, going to that phone call, quote, using that space to increase or maximize your capacity for Growth and Freedom. 

Matthew Jarvis  

Fascinating. I love that, that framework, like, am I? Am I acting contrary or attempted to act contrary to my core value, to my true daughter? So, so in your, in your example here, which we all run into, hey, I, you know, I want to, like, not obviously physically harm, but like, I want, like, emotionally harming her. Like, I’m not gonna make my life, my wife’s life, better. Like, all right, well, that’s not my core value. Like, my core value is to make her life wonderful and treat her like a queen. Okay, I’m tempted to not act that way. Something’s wrong here, which I guess back to your business example, like, hey, I want to uplift all my employees. All right, well, if I’m getting ready to push somebody down, all right, somehow I’m not in alignment. I think we go for hours on this thing. I want to make sure, though, Dr Andy, we take just a minute to give action items to our listeners. Like we talked about some amazing action items. But what are a couple of that our listeners could be doing as a result of this podcast? 

Dr Andy  

I would say that the first place to start off right like we have the three what I believe the most important high level skills necessary to maximize success right now over the next 10 years. I mean, really, they’re timeless. Mistake. We can exist in right convictions that finding what that is, you know, developing resilient strategies. Some of that’s Thank you. You mentioned that, focusing on what you can control, having mindfulness techniques, having a great support system in place, and then having the ability to be resilient in an agile manner. Now, drilling that into an actionable item, I think the most powerful place to start is, we’ve been talking a lot about core values, but string there is, is, you know, there’s, there’s good assessments out there. Sure, my favorite, you can find a lot of these online. I’m happy if anybody wants to reach out to me to share our tool on this. It’s one where you just, it has about 100 values based words. It asks you to go through, and, you know, to identify your top five, top five, you know, sometimes it takes a little while to kind of cross out figure and a lot of the works out great, you know. So you got a little and you start to categorize, well, this is really a subset of this, but then going again a level deeper to say this is what that value needs me. This is why it’s important, and this is how I wanted to show up in my work or in my family or these areas, that that alone is transformational. So my favorite conversation to have my client is having them explain after they’ve done that work, it is, it is so eye opening for them to recognize most of their pain points, the things they’re struggling with just because they’re doing things completely out of alignment with their values. And so that a lot is this incredibly powerful work. We know there’s tons of research that when you feel connected what matters most, you start to develop an inner belief of self efficacy, right? You believe that you can just overcome hard beings. So that creates its own form of resilience just doing that. You know, I think there’s a lot more you can add to it, layer on top of that, but even replacing old dysfunctional beliefs or old patterns, the ability to anchor habits, decisions to your values, it’s the most powerful lever in what these are the things that have the most emotional significance and conviction behind them. So if you know, a lot of times people get to have it so they go straight to certain goals without ever even questioning, does this have anything to do with my values. It’s like throwing paint on the wall and just connecting it to a cloud. Value is like putting primer down before. It’s amazing how much more likely that not only it sticks, but you get exactly the result that you’re helping out of it interesting. 

Matthew Jarvis  

That makes a lot of sense. I would give one other action item that I’d love to hear, how people can learn more about you. I know we talked a little bit about affirmation, really just a huge fan of this. But again, doctor, use your framework. There has to be true to that. I’ve used, like, my entire career, well, not my entire career, which I used it more of my career, but I’ve used for the last decade is that first one, like, I’m getting better and better every day, which that’s what I go to anytime I beat myself from a second cheese I can’t live. You know what? Good news, good news, I’m getting better and better every day, and I would make sure that’s true. The other one I use, I guess I’m curious your thoughts. I always use this. If it were easy, everybody would do it and nobody get paid. And so when I get it right, right into hard things, in my practice, easy, everybody would do it and nobody would get paid. Like, hey, I’m back to your authentic like, this is really hard. It’s really hard, but the reward is incredible, if I can scribe it out. And great news, Yeah, the best place to go is to my website, ag-thrive.com. Yeah, on there. We’ve got a resilience challenge. It says it’s a seven day challenge. I really need to replace that. It’s got like, nine days in there. And people sometimes say, if I don’t finish it in seven days, like, do I lose access? No, I just like number seven. But that’s you just go through that alone. You’ve got a comprehensive strategy. It includes our core values assessment. You know, we’ve got our corporate offer. We’re seeing the companies that are going through these trainings are having, you know, incredible increase in revenue, but seeing way less turnover and loss, you know, underperformance, absenteeism, things like that. So we do have a program for teens, just to mention, real quick, yeah, please. Because really, that’s the age right from teens in early adulthood, where you’re really starting to question, you know, whatever identity you had as a child, and you took on from your environment, and you’re starting to kind of establish your independence. And so we have some coaches that are really kind of leading that, using our framework and material to go into schools and working and having incredible, incredible impact. They have a couple colleges that are actually reaching out because they’re seeing attrition rates, right? I mean, so many kids are going on medical, you know, dropping out and so again, when hurts their bottom line, suddenly they’ll reach out and prioritize stuff like this. Really, it’s not a clinical program. It really is an optimization program, right? It’s like, it’s really meant for people that are heading towards burnout. Like this will help to light fire under you, sure that you also don’t get to burn out, that you start to get back to doing teaching you best and enjoying the heck out of it? I love it. I love it. Well. Dr Andy, hey, thank you so much for your time today. I’m getting better every day. On Flint seven, step closer to it. So, Doctor, I love this stuff. How can people learn more about your work? You’ve got a positive your true program. We can track that down.  Very insightful information. Look forward to having you on the show again and for all of our listeners. Until next time. Happy planning. 

Amber Kuhn  

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